is it a dealbreaker? 

 

Matchmaking has become a trend in the 2010s. Trends can be dangerous; due to its popularity, it sparked a revolution of swiping-apps that have left customers dissatisfied, unsafe, and disinterested. These quick-swiping-apps have changed the intimacy of dating. Instead of approaching a potential interest, they merely look at your photos and read your short bio (sometimes they don’t even do that). You are being judged on what you decide to present to the masses. It’s your life’s highlight reel. And when we are pigeon-holed to our best features, characteristics, and appearances, we are bound to find red flags.

Red Flag #1: Horrible Conversation Skills. 

If your date is barely talking, it’s a dealbreaker. Don’t waste your time with people who aren’t seriously trying to get to know you.

Reg Flag #2: The “Oh, Sorry” “I’m not sorry” 

This one goes both ways. If he can’t say sorry, it’s a dealbreaker, and if he says it too much, like all the time, it’s a dealbreaker. What is he so apologetic about?

Red Flag #3: She/he is bound up.

Dating is all about getting out of your comfort zone. If he/she can’t loosen up and act silly, then they take themselves way too seriously. Dating can be serious, but we must find times to let our guard down and have fun.

Red Flag #4: They won’t stop talking about themselves! 

Yes, it’s good to talk about yourself on a date. How else are they supposed to get to know you? But, if that’s the whole chunk of the conversation, and every sentence ends up coming back to them, they might be a narcissist. It’s not all about you, ask questions and engage with someone other than yourself.

Red Flag #5: You don’t seem interested. Trust it. 

In my experience, a spark is necessary. Completely necessary.  Trust yourself, giving someone a second chance could be a waste of your time.

 

Red Flags are a way of explaining things that you would find unreasonable/unattractive. They are completely subjective and personal. If you disagree with any of these, please take this time to create a shortlist of characteristics/actions that you find are dealbreakers.

 

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Maureen Tara Nelson

Author Maureen Tara Nelson

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